Tuesday, September 4, 2007

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...


I MEAN...YOU MAY FEEL LIKE YOUR LIVING IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY WHEN....

- you are able to purchase two dozen yellow roses for under 5 U.S dollars!
- you are able to cut up an onion with a sharp knife and cook chicken on a gas burner by headlight, candle, and flashlight!
- you about have a heart attack when at 9:00 pm the power comes back on and your security guard is knocking at your door because he wants to use your electricity to charge his cellphone! (ONLY IN AFRICA RIGHT???)
- for dessert you are perfectly content to eat spoonfuls of entella chocolate! GLORIOUS!
- you get asked at least 5 times when walking to work if you would like a ride... "White Girl You Want Boda?"
- when you discover that your electricity bill has been stick in your guest bedroom window for 15 days past the due date- but it doesn't really matter because the power company doesn't seem to have a clue when it comes too knowing who has or hasn't paid their bill!
- you make friends with the armed six foot three security guard at the local bank - because you stick out just a little bit being a white person in town - and you never know when he's presence may be come in handy!;)
-you smile on the inside and out because you are wiping your mouth with a paper napkin instead of a cloth one!
- your fellow employee tells you that she hopes that "very soon you will become fat like 'Suzy'"....(and this is actually a compliment)
- your arms get rubbed and even pinched because children think that you are not actually real
- you about spit up your orange soda when a local shares the meaning behind the word fanta...(foolish africans never take alcohol)...she than assures you its ok to finish.... ;)
- you can't get over the date being flip- flopped around. Like 04/09/07 does not represent April 9th , 2007 but it means September 4th. HA!
- you get excited about coming home to use the bathroom - so you don't have to use the "squatty" potty and you are able to actually wash your hands instead of using
sanitizer!!!
- you realize that the term "extend a bit" does not mean make yourself taller but rather it means to continue or move forward
- you realize that "fake" meat really does exist and you have to drive outside of town for "real" meat (love u mom!) LOL!

OK THATS ALL FOR NOW FOLKS!

7 comments:

Allie T said...

That backwards date thing is military date, too, so yet another thing you and Cory now have in common. :) James canNOT, literally can't write a date regular anymore. He sat and tried for about two minutes when we extended our lease a while back and couldn't.

johnmclamb said...

Okay, I LOVE this post! Good stuff!

Anonymous said...

Jena,
What a nice table you have set for yourself! I love your comparisons to you must be a redneck. I bet you don't hear much country music there!
Love,
Aunt Bonnie

Unknown said...

Hi Jena! Just wanted you to know I'm loving your blog, too!!! This was a hilarious post! :) I'm sorry I missed your chat earlier! We miss your sweet face and the boys miss you, too!
Love you, Jenny

The Sexton Crew said...

"White girl you want Boda?" Are you ABSOLUTELY certain that boda means motorbike? Just thought we should clarify. ;-)

Sorry Louise, I couldn't resist. I love you Jena!!!

Amie

Anonymous said...

Hey jena this is Ismail from Drew's class I hope everything is fine. I heard about your situation and am in prayer for you. God bless you and my you grow in trusting him!

Anonymous said...

Jena Bean,

I finally got to see your blog, but my computer is about to shut down b/c of the battery. I love you SOOOOOO much and love praying for you. I miss you. I got your address off of this by the way, so I don't need you to send it anymore. You are my hero.

Audrey Bear