Sunday, July 5, 2009

My 3 Worlds


Hey Yall! Sorry its taken me forever to write. GUESS THE GOOD NEWS IS I MADE IT HOME SAFE. On May 30th. I have taken some much needed R&R time and have also done a lot of visiting and 'catching up' with family. Its amazing how much changes in peoples lives in two years. Best Friends buying houses and having babies - my oldest Brother preparing for a wedding, sister graduating from college, my brother Jordan driving and working...Enough to make a sane person crazy ;). Upon returning from Africa I have come to the realization that I now have not one or two but three different worlds. Since I was an infant I have been traveling back in forth between Carolina and Florida. Now - God has added Africa into the mix. My Mom defined it this way when I was having a meltdown moment over missing my UG peeps - " You can take a girl out of Africa - but you can't take Africa out of a girl.." That statement really does sum up how I feel right now. A piece of my heart has always been in New Smyrna Beach Florida (with Daddy Jim, Mom -Katie, Jordan,Madisen) and in Youngsville North Carolina (with Momma, Daddy Todd, Cory. Now a chunk of my heart remains in Mbarara with the people there I have left behind. Before leaving the field - I was really struggling with the fact that I may never see some of these people ever again. I kept questioning the Maker of the Universe askin Him why he allowed me to get so attached to the people of Uganda. Right before departing the the continent - I spent like a week in South Africa - one of the missionaries there really encouraged me. She told me " You know what Jena your heart CAN AND DOES GROW BACK with time..." I quickly thought yeah right lady. Doesn't the song say ' you give and take away - you give and take away - my heart will choose to say Lord bless it be your name' . But then the more I thought about it the little light bulb in my brain slowly but surely turned on. He does give and take - and our hearts CAN choose - but the part that was new was the GROWING BACK THING. What an earth shattering concept to Jena's peanut brain. Guess I always thought that once you give your heart away to others - that afterwards there was intense chunk or gap or hole or whatever you want to call it that forever remained etched out. I thought look Ms. Phyllis I am spent - I don't have anything emotionally left to offer. I can't give out any more love. But FLASH - Just in that moment she encouraged me that He can mend that hurt and ENABLE you to love again. Just because those pieces are gone - doesn't mean that there’s not any left. Its there.


 Anyway, I could go on and go - but I'll stop - I am so grateful that Jesus has given me the opportunity to be involved in the lives of people whether it be the Sunshine State, Y-town, or Mbarara Uganda. This journey has been unforgettable - Thank you Abba for choosing me your servant to go be involved in the lives of your people. Thank you for the passion you have placed within me for the HUMAN HEART. Thank you for your comfort. The following verse has provided comfort to me when the tears begin to flow when the faces of those both near and far flash through my head. 


1 John 3:18-20 Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we SET OUR HEARTS AT REST IN HIS PRESENCE whenever our hearts condemn us. FOR GOD IS GREATER THAN OUR HEARTS, AND HE KNOWS EVERYTHING."

In closing, I just want to say how grateful I am for your prayers!! Without the Holy Spirit intervening through you - I wouldn't have had this amazing chance to love. I can't thank you enough.