My 3 Worlds

Hey Yall! Sorry its taken me forever to write. GUESS THE GOOD NEWS IS I MADE IT HOME SAFE. On May 30th. I have taken some much needed R&R time and have also done a lot of visiting and 'catching up' with family. Its amazing how much changes in peoples lives in two years. Best Friends buying houses and having babies - my oldest Brother preparing for a wedding, sister graduating from college, my brother Jordan driving and working...Enough to make a sane person crazy ;). Upon returning from Africa I have come to the realization that I now have not one or two but three different worlds. Since I was an infant I have been traveling back in forth between Carolina and Florida. Now - God has added Africa into the mix. My Mom defined it this way when I was having a meltdown moment over missing my UG peeps - " You can take a girl out of Africa - but you can't take Africa out of a girl.." That statement really does sum up how I feel right now. A piece of my heart has always been in New Smyrna Beach Florida (with Daddy Jim, Mom -Katie, Jordan,Madisen) and in Youngsville North Carolina (with Momma, Daddy Todd, Cory. Now a chunk of my heart remains in Mbarara with the people there I have left behind. Before leaving the field - I was really struggling with the fact that I may never see some of these people ever again. I kept questioning the Maker of the Universe askin Him why he allowed me to get so attached to the people of Uganda. Right before departing the the continent - I spent like a week in South Africa - one of the missionaries there really encouraged me. She told me " You know what Jena your heart CAN AND DOES GROW BACK with time..." I quickly thought yeah right lady. Doesn't the song say ' you give and take away - you give and take away - my heart will choose to say Lord bless it be your name' . But then the more I thought about it the little light bulb in my brain slowly but surely turned on. He does give and take - and our hearts CAN choose - but the part that was new was the GROWING BACK THING. What an earth shattering concept to Jena's peanut brain. Guess I always thought that once you give your heart away to others - that afterwards there was intense chunk or gap or hole or whatever you want to call it that forever remained etched out. I thought look Ms. Phyllis I am spent - I don't have anything emotionally left to offer. I can't give out any more love. But FLASH - Just in that moment she encouraged me that He can mend that hurt and ENABLE you to love again. Just because those pieces are gone - doesn't mean that there’s not any left. Its there.

 Anyway, I could go on and go - but I'll stop - I am so grateful that Jesus has given me the opportunity to be involved in the lives of people whether it be the Sunshine State, Y-town, or Mbarara Uganda. This journey has been unforgettable - Thank you Abba for choosing me your servant to go be involved in the lives of your people. Thank you for the passion you have placed within me for the HUMAN HEART. Thank you for your comfort. The following verse has provided comfort to me when the tears begin to flow when the faces of those both near and far flash through my head. 

1 John 3:18-20 Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we SET OUR HEARTS AT REST IN HIS PRESENCE whenever our hearts condemn us. FOR GOD IS GREATER THAN OUR HEARTS, AND HE KNOWS EVERYTHING."

In closing, I just want to say how grateful I am for your prayers!! Without the Holy Spirit intervening through you - I wouldn't have had this amazing chance to love. I can't thank you enough.

He Watches

“My” girls (Jana/Sarah) and I have been having some sleepless nights of late – for no very good reason. Tonight before heading off to “my dungeon” (that’s just how we refer to my room downstairs – didn’t want any of you to think I was a dragon) we discussed that we must be battling the enemy in some way, shape or form for all of us to be not sleeping at the same time. I reminded Jana and Sarah that we were probably doing something right for Christ – which the Devil does not appreciate. So anyways the girls knew just what to do. We prayed for Jesus to cover our “mansion” with his blood protection. After tossing and turning the whole of last night – Jesus blessed me with this devotion.

“A sensitive, timid little boy, long ago, was accustomed to lie down to sleep in a low ‘trundle bed,’ which was rolled under his parents’ bed by day and was brought out for his use by night. As he lay there by himself in the darkness, he could hear voices of his parents, in their lighted sitting-room across the hallway, on the other side of the house. It seemed to him that his parents never slept; for he left them awake when he was put to bed in the morning. So far this thought was a cause of cheer to him, as his mind was busy with imaginings in the weird darkness of his lonely room.

After loving good-night words and kisses had been given him by both his parents, and he had nestled down to rest, this little boy was accustomed, night after night, to rouse up once more, and to call out from his trundle-bed to his strong-armed father, in the room from which the light gleamed out, beyond the shadowy hallway, ‘Are you there, papa?’ And the answer would come back cheerily, ‘Yes, my child, I am here.’ ‘You’ll take care of me tonight, papa, won’t you?’ ‘Yes, I’ll take care of you, my child,’ was the comforting response. ‘Go to sleep now. Good night.’ And the little fellow would fall asleep restfully, in the thought of those assuring good-night words.”

By: Henry Clay Trumball – Keep A Quiet Heart - Author: Elizabeth Elliot


Psalm 4: 8 “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Psalm 63: 6-8 “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”

Psalm 121

“I lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip – he who watches over (Jena, Jana & Sarah) will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over (Jena, Jana & Sarah) – the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over (Jena, Jana, & Sarah’s) life: the Lord will watch over your (our) coming and going both now and forevermore.”


For the record – you would think that after spending two years alone in Uganda this girl would be use to spending sleepless nights alone but– ummm NOPE! Don’t get me wrong Jesus has been the perfect companion for me - but there is something very comforting about the fact that I am going home to be in my own bed on Hill Road in Youngsville in only 34 DAYS. (That’s only thirty- three nights) Just sayin…. Holla at you later gang! MMMMMMMMMWAH

My Little Man Trevor

Read the April 13th post for more information on Trevor.

P.S.

Jake says 'Happy Birthday!'

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Hey Puff Daddy! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday! Hope Momma takes good care of you! Guess what I will be home in like 41 days and we can eat pizza and wings until we are sick to our stomachs! We can also go to Sheetz and get diet coke and cheesy pretzels :) CANT WAIT!!! I could almost swear I am so excited...ummm but I won't ...folks may not look tooo kindly on a swearing Missionary -A Marine might be able to pull it off....JK....Nways LOVE U MEAN IT!!!!

TREVOR

I don't really know where to begin when I mutter this child's name out of my lips...but I feel led to share his story - Please bare with me family - and Holy Spirit give me direction. Recently - I have been making weekly visits to Mulago Hospital here in Kampala with Andrew and Christina Berry. Lately we have been ministering to a lady named Brenda and her son Trevor. Trevor is very sick -in fact he has tb (tuberculosis) on the brain which has caused cerebral meningitis and we also just learned that he has hydrocephalus( cerebral spinal fluid in the brain) . He's chances of survival are not good. And to be honest with you I am not happy about the care this young boy is receiving. Trevor is currently sharing oxygen with a child next to him and is not getting any medicine (such as morphine) for pain. The doctors were denying him treatment because his father told Mulago that the "child was the government's responsibility." So this put a bad taste in the doctors mouth towards Trevor. Nway, the Berry's and I were able to get the child a cat scan to reveal what truly was the matter. (120,000/=) shillings which is equivalent to like sixty bucks...Often times -people here in the city are very quick to ask for 'assistance' but Brenda never asked. This woman's character is so amazing to me. Her heart so is genuine - not fake. The scan revealed the hydrocephalus - We prayed with the mother and headed out. I guess what tugs at my heart the most is the incredible faith the mother Brenda has. After praying over her son that day - she gave us 'a push' and just put out her hands to embrace mine. "God bless you", she said. I had nothing to say in response to that. ....All my peanut brain could think of was - Why in the world are you telling God to bless me??? Your son is going to die any day now - and your not asking God to bless him or you rather? On the way out - Christina asked the doctor whether it was possible to schedule surgery for 'our boy' asap. She wondered because of the Easter holiday if that is why they were delaying. The doctor walked away - Brenda shared that she would be able to talk to a neurosurgeon on Tuesday. Tomorrow we will go see if Trevor is still fighting for his life.

I talked to John Mark(my friend who is a 5th yr med student)over the weekend and I was encouraged to learn that Mulago does offer shunt insertions. A shunt is a device used to drain the fluid from the brain. He also told me of another hospital option nearby that specializes in hydrocephalus. Although, this news is refreshing to hear I am concerned that our little man may not hold on much longer...

I must admit watching Trevor and his mother suffer -has been an experience I will never forget- With 48 days remaining on this continent I can't help but think of all that God has done within my own heart while here in Africa. Ohh God, I am not happy that this child is in pain but I am so grateful that you have given me the opportunity to hold Trevor's whithering fingers, rub his sweaty brow, and pray over him. How precious this life is to you. I was talking to Momma about how comforting it is to just say YOUR name out loud. Oh Jesus, may I never forget Trevor or the faith of his mother. I pray that if its your will that Trevor may live to one day mutter your sweet name....but God if you decide to take his life from this earth may his mother choose to 'sing of your mercy that will leds her through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy.'

I use to tell Cor that things will get better in the morning - That is not always true - things may not get better in the morning for Trevor - the reality is they may get WORSE - he may perish or in reality he may not even be alive as I am typing this ....

" I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. O Lord, you have brought up my soul from Sheol: you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit. Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger is but for a moment and his favor for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night but joy comes with the morning. As for me, I said in my prosperity, 'I shall never be moved.' By your favor, O Lord, you made my mountain stand strong; you hid your face: I was dismayed. To you, O Lord, I cry, and to the Lord I plead for mercy. ' What profit is there in death, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will tell of your faithfulness? Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!' You have turned my mourning into dancing: you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever! "

Psalms 30:1-12

And then there was Sulli...

Hey All!!! I am sippin some sweeet tea here in the busy city of Kampala and thought I'd write and tell you about my new 'brother'. I am sure some of you are wondering how one acquires a new sibling while living in a foreign country...but then again maybe not because most of you know how the Thornton family rolls - really if you know my family pretty well you know that we have knack for acquiring people....That's what we do....It sort of defines us :) HAHAHA Nway, recently my fam connected with one of Cory's Corp buddies and well to make a long story - they adopted him as a son. Not a 'legit' adoption :) but something I definitely want to get on board with so to speak. Most of you in Y-town have probably already met Sulli but the 'new' brother idea has just reached me here in UG and I am totally 'down' with having another sibling!!!! Here's the little I know about Sulli so far - He's tight with Cory,He's a fighter, He's country (from Texas but we aren't loving him any less for that - especially since I just wrote my last blog on that very subject :) , He eats a lot, He swims, Calls Mom - Momma , He took over my bathroom at home and Saturday changed the oil in Lahonda...so to sum this all up I have decided to get on the bandwagon and join my family. I too have adopted him as part of us :) Welcome to the fam Sulli! Consider that your official shoutout from your sister in Africa! And you probably don't have access to this blog but but just so you are aware one of the 'requirements' for being a sister to Jena is that you MUST let me pinch your muscles!!! JK

So now I am getting a little carried away -Back to the real reason for writing this....My NEW Marine Brother is on his way to Iraq TODAY!!! That's right ladies and gentlemen you read that right :( I know that a lot of stuff is happening in our country right now and I know I don't have power to decide who stays on the home front or who goes overseas... but I can choose to PRAY. I could also choose to pout and get all emotionally and stuff - but what good would that do...SERIOUSLY.. That is not a good thing for a sister of NOW TWO MARINES to do. 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right???' So 'in light' of Sulli leavin and Cory's soon departure just around the corner - I found the following story quite meaningful during my devo.

" In World War II, Ernest Gordon was a British captive in a Japanese prison camp by the River Kwai in Burma, where the POWs were forced to build a 'railroad of death' for transporting Japanese troops to the battlefront. They were tortured, starved, and worked to the point of exhaustion. Nearly 16,000 died. Gordon survived the horrors of that experience and wrote about it in a monumental work, Through the Valley of the Kwai, published in 1962...He describes one occasion when, at the end of a work day, the tools were being counted before the prisoners returned to their quarters. A guard declared that a shovel was missing. He began to rant and rave, demanding to know which prisoner had stolen it. Working himself into a paranoid fury, he ordered whoever was guilty to step forward and take his punishment.

No one did. 'All die!' the guard shrieked . 'All die!' He cocked his rifle and aimed at the prisoners. At that moment, one man stepped forward. Standing at attention he calmly declared, 'I did it.'

The Japanese guard at once clubbed the prisoner to death. As his friends carried away his lifeless body, the shovels in the tool shed were recounted - only to reveal that there was no missing shovel.

Unlike the situation of those prisoners staring into the cocked and loaded gun of a deranged guard, you and I do not face death from a fellow sinner. What we face is the righteous threat of furious wrath from a holy God. That is the threat faced by all who have gone astray, by each one who has turned to his own way. In our case, the shovel is missing; there is in fact a great deal more that's missing. We are indeed guilty of sin and deserving punishment... But the innocent One - stepped forward to die for the rest of us......."

Cross Centered Life By: C J Mahaney

If my memory serves me right I think the USMC motto - is God, Country, Corp....I am not really sure if my new bro has those things in order in his life or not - I can assume he has the Country and Corp part under control -but as far as God - I don't exactly know his thoughts about the one who hung the stars in the sky. So join me in prayer for Sulli not only for his safety but also that Christ would speak to his heart. That he would know what or whom rather he is standing for if he indeed does face a "All die" moment in Iraq.

THANK U FOR READIN AND PRAYIN AS ALWAYS X

Aslan Gave

Late last night I was having a little heart to heart convo with one of my fellow team -mates.. I don't want to go into much detail...but we both did alot of listening to each other and watching each others tears fall. Sarah and I basically discussed why we were here - to put it in the most simplistic terms - WE ARE HERE TO LOVE PEOPLE AS CHRIST LOVED US!! Now, that truth is definitely easier said then done - and trying to not let yourself be vulnerable to your emotions- knowing when to hold back and when to give in .. - This has definitely been a battle for me in knowing how to balance the relationships I have made here in UG. How much is tooo much to offer of one-self ??? And I as I prepare to leave this place knowing how to withdraw myself from the people my heart as grown so very attached too. As I with Sarah - fighting back tears....I came to the realization that her heart was like mine - I saw in her the same passion for the people of Uganda that I have. It was a moment that will be fixed in my memory for sometime. It was neat to have someone apart from the Lion actually know my heart. She too has truly connected with these precious people. Its a mutual feeling that not all can share....but I am grateful to Jesus we have that common bond. I guess it erks my spirit sometimes when I hear stories of missionaries who have been on the field for 20 plus years and yet still have yet to grasp the concept of Christ's love. Some think its best to sit indoors all day and just pray for the lost and suffering...Others (busy) themselves with excessive bible studying - ministry - or seminary classes. Then there is also the missionary tourist - who is all about his/her high techno camera and visiting all cool vaca spots because their children may never be able to see those places ever again....Don't get me wrong its not a sin to study the word or take family vacations - Trust me - I definitely don't have this missionary business all figured out...I must admit Jena Louise Tager has made mistakes with relating to people on the field. From the short two years I have been in Uganda - here's what I have learned about ministry: Life is all GIVING OF ONE SELF for another (To the suprise of many its not all about JENA :)

"Near the end of C.S. Lewis's The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the children Lucy and Susan are on the Hill of the Stone Table on a moonlit night. From a distance they watch tearfully as Aslan the lion submits to torment from the White Witch and her rabble monsters - who are there because of the treachery of the girls' brother Edmund. He is bound, shorn of his golden mane, muzzled...then tied to the table and killed. After these vile creatures have gone, the two sisters creep out of their hiding place to approach the table. They spend the rest of that night weeping over Aslan's body.

When dawn comes and the girls are shivering in the early morning coolness, they turn from the table to try and warm themselves by walking. As they watch the sky turn red and gold from the sunrise, they hear behind them ' a great cracking, deafening noise.' They hurry back, and are overcome with yet more grief at what they see: The Stone Table was broken into two pieces by a great crack that ran down it from end to end: and there was no Aslan.

Suddenly their cries and questions are interrupted by 'a great voice behind their backs.' They looked around. There, shining in the sunrise, larger then they had seen before, shaking his mane...stood Aslan himself.

Susan tries to ask him if he's a ghost. Aslan stooped his golden head and licked her forehead. The warmth of his breath and a rich sort of smell that seemed to hang about his hair came all over him. 'Do I look it?' he said.

Finally, after both girls have ' flung themselves upon him and covered him with kisses, ' Susan asks....'But what does it all mean????' "
The Cross Centered Life By : C J Mahaney

Chewin

" The cross is the blazing fire at which the flame of our love is kindled, but we have to get near enough for its sparks to fall on us." John Stott

FACES

"Everybody smiles in the same language. And for that, I am so grateful." Jena Lee

Kobusinge

Hey!!!!! Sooo - I maybe a little slow but it just dawned on me that my term here in UG is almost coming to a close...May is just around the corner. I can't believe its already March. CRAZINESS!!! Nways, I am amazed at how great my God is and I can't even begin to describe all the wonderful things HE has done in my life here in Africa. One thing that he has been teaching me lately is about peace. Kobusinge was a nickname I was given when I use to do homevisits. The name in Ruyankore means that 'peace is with you'. Its quite humbling to think that when someone looks at you they see peace. Its even more humbling to think about when you replace that with 'Jesus (himself) is with you'. Hmmm - Can't say I always live up to that one...I think of Bean, Angel Bunny, Baby Duck, Ms. Stephanies Fav, and the other random nicknames I have been given over the years - and though they are fun and mean much to me - they dont really have any spiritual significance. I mean don't get me wrong I can most of the time live up to Bean :) ...but Kobusinge is who I should strive to be. When people (whether white, brown, yellow, or red) look at me I hope they see the Prince of Peace. Peace himself gave me the above sunrise over the water setting to forever hold in my mind when I think of this place...and he also gave me this passage last night when my brain couldn't shut off. Proverbs 3:21- 26 'My child, hold on to wisdom and reason. Don't let them out of your sight! They will give you life. Like a necklace, they will beautify your life. - Then you will go on your way in safety. - And you will not get hurt - You won't need to be afriad when you lie down. - When you lie down, your sleep will be peaceful. You won't be afraid of trouble coming suddenly. You won't need to fear the ruin that comes to the wicked. The Lord will keep you safe. He will keep you from being trapped.'

Dr. Pepper Shoutout :)

Guess what???!!!! The Peppers communicated with me via email today and it feels like forever since I have heard from them...Nways if you get time you should totally check out their blog site. Follow the link under found under 'My homies' section.

For those of you who don't know Dr. Pepper - He was my former supervisor in Mbarara and I really miss he and his lovely wife. I LOVE U BOTH AND I AM PRAYING FOR YOU AND MY 'SIBLINGS' ;)

My Heart Your Home

Just got off skype with Momma and my heart is heavy. I thought I'd share these Watermark lyrics with ya'll - They have really comforted me since my Momma isn't here right now to hold me. Jesus I am inviting you here to this place. Embrace me Daddy.

'Come and make my heart your home - Come and be everything I ever know and love search me through and through til my heart becomes a home for you (repeat)-

A home for yooooou Lord, A home for you ohhhh Lord

Let everything I do open up a door for you to come through - that my heart will be a place where you want to be - you are my portion filling up everything - you are the fortune causing my heart to see - that its amazing that you could make yourself at home with me. ' X

City Livin'

Hey Ya'll, I am currently listening to George Strait :) 'You get carried away...'(Sorry Amie) and trying to come up with words to express these pictures and the emotions I have while holding these precious little ones...but there are really none....Umm yeah these city children are loved just the same by God as the children in Mbarara. Go figure right???!!! I mean you think the country ones would be more popular with J.C. :) Haha. Apart from his love for the children, God has really done a number on my heart. Most of you know that I was asked to leave Mbarara recently - I was a bit nervous about this move. Moving from comfortable to uncomfortable is never an option that I or perhaps alot of people would choose. But God is sooo FAITHFUL and HIS plans for us are always best. I mean I totally prefer cows and goats in the road over motorcycle and taxi congestion...but To make a long story short -he has shown me that I CAN BE HAPPY AND CONTENT in a big city! There is a huge network of house churches here set up mostly by IMB missionaries and run by local Ugandan pastors. "My" team(Will,Jana,Sarah,Jakes) will hopefully be helping to train some children pastors. Jake is telling me I have to sleep now. So bye. LOVE LOVE

My New Crib

Hey All, This is my new house where I stay with Sarah and Jana (the two handson chickas) I am working with. Below are mostly pictures from my bedroom - but also include my sweeeeet outdoor porch, living room and bathroom. Jake is going to help me upload a video of the complete house. Hope ya'll enjoy :) HUGS

For Amie

This is for Amie Sexton :) No explanation needed....

New Mailing Address

BMU/ Jena Tager
P.O. Box 1734
Kampala Uganda

South Africa Baaaby

Below Jana(My UG Girl),Amanda (Carolina Girl :) Me, Laekan (My Buddy)

Kimber (My Twin LOL) Below: Jana, Me, Sarah (My other UG girl)

Below: Jake (My UG Boy)

This is me with Josh, Laekan and Shaila - This gang is serving in Malawi

This is Justin Morgan ladies and gentlemen :)

This chicka is Stacie - She is doing my 'job' in South Africa. She is a pretty amazing person. She served in Botswana for a term and is now back on the field. She took good care of me while in South Africa

Pictured Below :Allyson & Hunter , and Me & Jake - We are swing dancing....Allyson was real good she could actually flip ! Country girls ROCK!

Hunter is holding a dead bat :) And I thought this picture had to make the blog

This is Phyllis - She and her husband are in charge of the HandsOn program. They have served in Africa for a long time. She has really been a strong encouragement to me through this emotionally rough transition from Mbarara to Kampala. I LOVE HER AND PRAISE GOD FOR THE COMFORT AND ADVICE SHE HAS BROUGHT ME.

MY GIRLS - Jana and Sarah

Hunter, Laekan, Jena, Josh














Josh :)

Christina & Me